Last week I shared how I found my passion and purpose in life. Today, I want to share one of the most important insights I ever had: how to find the right answers in life.
PHOTO NICO CURIA - ALL RIGHT RESERVED
Wouldn't it be great if we could have a crystal ball that would guide and give us answers to all our questions?
Well, we kind of have one: it’s called our inner voice… or rather inner voices. You see, there are two voices we need to listen to.
Allow me to explain.
If you are not living the life you’ve dreamed of, it is probably because something is missing. The likely reason that something is missing is because you have been looking for answers in the wrong place – otherwise, you would be living your dreamed life by now ☺. Don’t you agree?
Einstein used to say… “We cannot solve our problems with the same level of thinking that created them”.
We are so busy worrying about what other people say or think, that most of the time, we forget to hear our own voice.
The first thing to understand is that there are two voices speaking, usually simultaneously, and because the mind can only think of one thing at a time, most probably you will experience them as one voice. The problem is that no one (that I know) teaches us about them and how to listen to the important information each of them is giving us.
One voice comes from our mind and the other voice comes from our heart (I don’t mean our actual heart, but our soul or our higher self…the label doesn’t matter).
Let’s start with the voice in the mind. To keep it simple, the voice in the mind operates based on the programming that we have received.
What is the mind's role?
The ultimate role of the mind is to keep us alive and safe. Its purpose is to ensure it survives. The mind is like a guard dog trying to anticipate any danger, 24/7. It is also responsible for creating our ‘Mexican Wall’ to protect us from perceived external danger.
The mind protects us from fear, which is caused by our problems, worries, anxiety and stress. Where is the fear created? In the mind. What is the mind protecting us from? Fear. Where is the fear created? In the mind…you get my point.
In other words, the mind is trying to protect us from the mind and that’s why we can’t find the right answers in the mind – for example, what’s your passion or purpose in life.
Here is more or less how it works. You know that you are not happy with something in your life… job/body/relationship, so your mind starts looking for answers or solutions.
Where? In your mind. And guess what? It will find some answers (based on what it has learnt or previous experiences) but usually on a superficial level. That’s why we end up changing jobs, relationships and renewing the gym membership over and over.
The mind is not designed to be happy or to find peace, love or purpose. The mind doesn’t know how to steer your life. The mind doesn’t know what is truly meaningful for you. The mind doesn’t know your true values. What the mind knows is the programs that it has “downloaded” and so, it plays it safe by telling you to “do the right thing” or worse “do the sensible thing”.
Here is another way to put it - I will keep insisting till it clicks ☺. Think of your mind as a smartphone. In order to work the phone needs hardware and software. The mind is the hardware that comes with the minimum software to exist. As we grow, all that we have learnt (knowledge and experiences) throughout our life are like the apps.
In the same way that you can download or delete apps from your phone, so you can from your mind. In the same way that you are not the phone but aware of the phone, you are not your mind, but aware of what’s going on in your mind.
Here is my gift for you that hopefully will break the spell… unless you are already enlightened: you are hypnotised by your own mind, making you believe that you are the mind and the thoughts in your mind.
When you listen to the voice in your head, that voice is conditioned with information that came from other people’s minds, which came from other people’s minds, which came from other people’s minds… but it’s not your own information. Others gave it to you. Whether it’s positive or negative, it shaped your current beliefs… like you are not good enough, I’m not pretty enough, I’m too old, I’m too young, I love money, money is evil… and so on.
In the same way you shouldn’t take any advice for granted, you shouldn’t take what you hear from your mind for granted. Instead, challenge it – by the way that’s what a coach helps you to do.
Have you noticed that most people would like to make changes in their lives and yet very few manage to do so?
Because when the time to change comes, most people play it safe (the comfort zone), making excuses (all created by the mind) that the family, money, health, living conditions and past circumstances don’t allow them to make the change they want.
The truth is people don’t make changes because of fear of the unknown.
Where there is a change, there is a fear of ‘what might happen’. Where there is fear, the mind gets involved, and because its ultimate goal is to protect our safety, some people end up staying where they are. As the saying goes, “better the devil you know”.
So really, it is our mind that stops us from growing, from taking new opportunities and flowing with life to see where it takes us. The mind needs certainty for each new step that it takes.
To understand that you can challenge your thoughts is very powerful and liberating because it means that you are not attached to your thoughts any more. By creating that space between you and the thought, you can choose (by listening to your heart) what thoughts you want to keep and which ones you can let go.
The mind can be an AMAZING tool or your worst ENEMY. It all depends on how you use it.
So, if the mind can’t give you the true answers, who can?
The other voice: your heart.
There is a voice that comes from your heart, that doesn’t speak but it can be felt. That’s where you can find ALL your answers. That voice is your personal coach, your oracle, your tarot reader, your mentor, your healer, your spiritual guide. That voice is always right, as it’s the voice that reflects the ultimate truth for you.
Sometimes this voice is very different to what society says (the mind voice) and that conflict is the root of all our misery. If the mind, which is conditioned by society, wouldn’t interfere, the voice of your heart would always guide you in the best possible way. The voice of your heart is the one in charge. It’s the one that allows you to feel if you are on the right track or not.
Now let’s put the two voices together.
In order to live a happy and successful life, you need to be tuned into both voices. When the mind and heart are in tune, working smoothly as a team, the heart gives direction and the mind executes. The heart will indicate what is needed and the mind will make it happen.
So, if you really want to find the right answers in your life, you need to let go of only listening to your thoughts and connect with your heart and trust what you “hear”.
So, the secret to the crystal ball is to pay attention to how a thought feels. Do you feel relaxed and at peace, or tense and stressed when you think about something? If so, which option will you follow? It’s pretty obvious, don’t you think?
Here are the 3 key points I want you to take away:
• You are not your mind. Your mind is the product of the programmes you have downloaded, and you can choose to delete the programmes that no longer serve you.
• You have 2 voices – the voice of the mind and the voice of the heart and you need both.
• Make an active decision to “listen” to what your heart is telling you. Pay attention to your feelings and emotions, as these are key indicators of how a thought feels.
Have an amazing week!
PS Did this post resonate with you? What was your biggest takeaway or key insight? I would love to continue the conversation below, as your comments are what inspire me to keep writing.